Friday, May 13, 2011
"I'm so ugly."
"Maybe if I were more normal, I'd have more friends."
"I'm so embarrassed...I can't say anything."
"Why can't I be like everybody else?"
Self esteem issues.
Every teen has them, especially girls, and sometimes we let those storm cloud thoughts steal our sunshine. And sometimes, living with a bleeding disorder can make it even harder to keep a positive outlook about the face in the mirror staring back at you. Sometimes bruises on your legs ruin that summer tan you've been working months at. Or a nosebleed crashes your party in the middle of an outing with your girlfriends. Or you have to miss a swim party or a sleepover because you're on your period and you're afraid you'll bleed all over yourself.
Every single one of those instances has ruined my day at one point or another. Some more than once. And it always manages to get me down...way down. I'll sit down and cry for a while, wishing I could be normal and go play paint ball or swim with all my friends...but it never changes anything. And it always makes me feel worse.
A lot of Doctors and Nurses will tell you that you need to keep a positive outlook on life. And they're right. :) Why? Because sometimes, honey, positivity is all that's gonna keep you from smacking into rock bottom. You can't be "normal" like everyone else.
But hey, normal is overrated anyway. :)
Whenever you're having those tough days, try something like this:
*Give yourself a pep talk in the mirror before you leave for school or work
*Blast your favorite playlist of "feel good" music and dance around for a while
*Put on your best outfit, just to make yourself feel a little better
*Treat yourself to a hot bath or shower, maybe with a little ice cream to snack on
*Call up a friend and talk, maybe even cry a little, just to get it off your chest (even better would be to have a friend who also has a bleeding disorder. :) Just to have a little common ground!)
*Read your favorite book or watch your favorite movie
I like to give myself mirror-pep-talks and sing out loud to all my favorite feel good tunes. Try finding a routine that works for you!
And always remember that you--your bleeding disorder included--are beautiful. And special. :) So give yourself a pat on the back for being tough enough to make it this far!